A Place For Boldness

This isn't a joke...

2011-06-02T22:18:00.001-05:00

I moved to http://aplaceforboldness.tumblr.com/

I know this is scary but it's necessary.

Trust me. This is best for the both of us.

New home!

2011-05-31T23:11:00.004-05:00

Hey readers...

Travel with me over to Tumblr...

http://aplaceforboldness.tumblr.com/

I'm excited about the change. You should be too.

The Truth about this blog

2011-05-29T09:55:00.005-05:00

It is starting to become embarrassingly obvious that I cannot keep up this blog on a regular basis. On the surface, it's a mix of things. Sometimes I simply don't have the energy to synthesize the ideas in my mind into a blog format. Other times, I just don't have anything worth saying.

But I am realizing that it might go deeper than the surface. A blog could be such a vulnerable platform. (If you could even call it a platform...) Because I would count myself among the millions of college students who scream, "I have a voice!" But this voice is broken and weak. I feel like the kid in the 4th grade wanting to raise his hand to read but sweating bullets in fear of humiliation.

I have come to the conclusion that my broken and weak voice is indeed my own, and a gift. I have the opportunity to speak about Someone who isn't broken and weak but strong and loving. And it is that reality, which gives me confidence to write. I believe that God has chosen to make himself known through weakness and brokenness. A manger, not a palace. A homeless carpenter, not a earthly-king. Death on a cross, not ascent to power.

My mother always says to me... "God's power is made perfect through your weakness." So now I will stop striving to show God that I can do it on my own, but rest in the fact that He uses my poorly-edited, atrocious grammar, and often wrong blog post to bring people to Jesus.

Sorry....

2011-03-24T21:25:00.003-05:00

I was planning on posting tonight but due to certain circumstances, this blog has to wait.

What's to come...

2011-03-22T13:33:00.003-05:00

I'm trying to introduce more structure to this blog, so we'll try this out and see if it works...

I will be posting on (this date) about (this topic/idea)...

Thursday March 24 - Doubt and despair. The real "stuff" of knowing Jesus.

Saturday March 26 - 3 things that I'm looking forward to.

Monday March 28 - Music. The author's intent and Why there must be more to your faith than experience but nothing less.

Short thought on human relationships

2011-03-21T21:59:00.002-05:00

Ever see the movie, Into the Wild? I highly recommend it.

There is this scene towards the end where the main character treks up this mountain and says to his friend,

“You are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from human relationships."

The thing about relationships is that they too have a ceiling. You know how it seems that all of life's treasures seem to always leave us wanting more or mega-disappointment?

For me, it's friends. When I'm living in Waco, I miss the friends in St. Louis. When I am St. Louis, I miss my Waco friends. It's shocking for me to recount the closest friends in my entire life and to realize that not a single one took away that deep pang of loneliness and insecurity.

I'm tired of the question, "Why don't you call me anymore?"

Even though at times, that very question nags at me.

Relationship is a gift, but I'm starting to see the very short ceiling of limits and I'm starting to wonder if relationship was meant to point me somewhere else.

"I have no duty to be anyone's Friend and no man in the world has a duty to be mine. No claims, no shadow of necessity." - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Condulances and New Beginnings...

2011-03-20T23:55:00.003-05:00

Hey Reader. Welcome Back.

I wanted to extend to you an apology for doing what most amateur blog writers do... stop blogging. But let's not pretend that you really missed it. And no, I'm not begging for compliments. But this is why I am starting to post again.

Why do I blog?

I'm not 100 percent sure, but I'm sure you have a few ideas of your own. Stroking my own ego? I love a little rant every once in awhile? Sure. It's probably a mix of a lot of things. I honestly need an outlet for what's going on in my head. I would love for you to read along, but this is more for me. One of my favorite parts of this blog is looking back at 2008 when I first started.... yikes. Don't do that.

What will you blog about?

Me. The things that spark my interest. Not that I am what is exciting but what other source do I have to draw from? I'm a religion major at Baylor University, so a good chunk of the post will be theological in nature. I'll spare you the stuff that is boring. A friend said to me, that the only theology that is worth doing is pastoral theology. Pastoral theology meaning exploring certain truths about God that will be of service to the people of God, the Church.

Reviews of books that I am reading. Funny videos... The works.

Why the name, "A Place for Boldness"?

In a video, this. (when I do that, click on the word)

In a age of timidness, a fear of knowing/believing what your saying, social pressure not to offend, we must not be afraid to proclaim the Gospel. If you're not a place where you can handle that, that's fine. I would still love your feedback and discussion. Yes indeed, I have greatly missed the mark but I have found grace.

God does not save those who are only imaginary sinners. Be a sinner, and let your sins be strong (sin boldly), but let your trust in Christ be stronger, and rejoice in Christ who is the victor over sin, death, and the world. - Martin Luther

Thanks for reading.

The Gospel Every Day

2010-11-09T19:18:00.008-06:00

One thing I am certain of... You're not reading this now with a "clean slate." No one is outside the strong reach of sin and its corrupting nature. Each one of us is dealing with something. If you seem to have it all together, and have no inner struggle between what you know is good and the mess that is you, then that might be a red flag.

Christian, as you grow, your knowledge of God should grow as you go along. What I mean is the knowledge of God's nature and character, his standards or his law should be ever increasing.

God is bigger than I thought. God is more beautiful than I could have imagined. He is more perfect than I would have ever thought. God has been taking off my blinders, and revealing the infinite perfection and beauty that is his character.

Meanwhile, my view of my self has become quite different than I would have thought. I haven't progressed like I thought I would when I first became a Christian in 2006. In fact, I am much more distraught than I have ever been! Why?!

The essence of the Christian life, your walk with God, is that the more you continue in the faith, the more you become familiar with these two truths:

1) The Holiness of God
2) The Sinfulness of Man

These two ideas simply cannot coexist. Rather, the more you learn about one, the more the other becomes apparent. Despite popular belief, the longer you are a Christian DOES NOT mean the better of a person you are. Quite the opposite! It means the more aware of your desperate need. Which for some of us means we will struggle more, depression and suffering.

Scripture teaches and urges us to when we have moments of desperation or pain to cling to Jesus, his death and resurrection. The gospel! The good news that Jesus Christ took on the wrath of God that was meant for us and to reconcile us and present us as children to God.

The gospel of Jesus is what brings the sinner comfort. The gospel is what brings relief to the tears of the desperate. Not religion. Not another bible study. Not another book about finding the Spirit/Purpose/Best Life. The Gospel is not something that you "figure out" in the beginning of your Christian life and then figure out how be a good Christian afterwards. You need the Gospel every single day.

Your heart needs capturing every single day. Because you are a forgetful person! Your heart is constantly making up other gods to worship. I'm not just quoting the Bible at you, but telling you what is going on in my own heart. I hope we never grow tired of hearing of the cross. The cross is what brings change!

When you were little, what did you want your Dad to say to you? For me, "I accept you. I love you. No matter what." I didn't want my Dad to give me a book of rules and how to obey them, rather I wanted his acceptance and love. Acceptance drives change, not your will! The gospel brings change, in your heart, your family and relationships.

So if you're struggling... you are ever aware of the chasm that is between God and you... Behold your God and his Gospel. The good news. Never grow tired of it. Never stop pursuing it.

Think (trailer)

2010-10-21T15:03:00.001-05:00

Plus, it's 40 percent off this week only.

http://www.wtsbooks.com/product-exec/product_id/7194

Dear Reader....

2010-10-17T21:18:00.002-05:00

Here are a few quick things:

- I've decided recently (last week) that I want to go to seminary. And I'm not ruling out Waco for another 3 years. But I'll talk that over with family and see where I'm at in a year.

- Hopefully my sister let's me keep my handlebar mustache for the wedding. Yes, I'm growing a handlebar mustache. And I look creepy.

- My sister gets married this saturday! What an insane month. This october might redeem itself for its dubious reputation of being the worst month of the year.

- Speaking of a terrible months, Rams are not 0-6 this year.... but 3-3! Can you believe it? This guy can.

- Seeing how Baylor fans react to the football team makes me realize how ridiculous I can act watching the Rams.

- In pursuit of collecting this entire collection of commentaries, here. and here (donations appreciated.... I know, but worth a shot)

- I just wanted to take a second and say thank you to you, the reader. Yes, you. I love you. Cherish you. Need you. Wouldn't ever want to break your heart. Always have your good in my heart. Can't stop thinking about you! And if you're wondering, yes, I'm talking specifically to you.

Signs that you're a narcissist

2010-10-11T23:28:00.004-05:00

Have you ever been relaxing by the pool and the thought pop into your head, "Am I a narcissist?"

A layman's definition of narcissism:

Narcissism is the pattern of traits and behaviors which involve infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition. In everyday use outside the field of psychology, the word generally refers to people who just are inordinately fond of themselves, without the pathological connotations.

OR... If this post is making you feel kinda guilty... this is your definition...

Unlike the general idea that narcissism is bad. It's actualy rather good. You never pay any attention to what others say about you nor care about it. You think yourself to be better looking and smarter than others, wich is handy in alot of situations.
Narcissist's are realy common and you can find them in every corner of the world. You probely one of them yourself.

For all you narcissist out there and wanna rep it: buy your narcissist mugs, t-shirts and magnets here

Onto the actual post:

Sign #1: You have a high turnover of friends, or suck at keeping them. No offense, but if every year you have a new best friend and the one you had last year is "lame, gossips too much, is too immature" odds are, you're the lame one. Maybe you've yet to learn of your messiness. Maybe you're never content with people's imperfections and keep discarding people hoping to finally get the person to fix you...

Sign #2: (I'm wondering how I can draw this out of your sub-concious, the fact that you honestly believe that your group of friends would be nowhere without you, spiritually lost and hopelessly boring without you) You carry this messiah-complex with you. "It comes from real self-image where an individual believes himself to be the saviour of a group, time period, or in an extreme case, the world. Adolf Hitler suffered a Messiah complex." - Urbandictionary

Sign #3: When it's almost impossible for you to stop thinking about yourself. Sounds too obvious right? You would think. Or... how is your money spent? All on you, huh? You might be a narcissist if you go from conversation to conversation wondering
what the person is thinking of you, good/bad.

.... God have mercy on me.

Wedding Reflection

2010-10-11T00:22:00.005-05:00

Can I just say that Tommy and Kellsie's wedding was nothing short of memorable. It was a blast and several moments made me really think.

(photo by Mathew Cerniglia)

Just a few reflections:

- Wow, two of my great friends are married. I knew it was coming, but boy did it hit me on their first dance. To think that God brought this relationship from early high school when I met Tommy to where it was last night was breath taking.

- The day was perfect, it seemed and nothing it could damper the spirits of the people involved.

- It' also a bittersweet realization that my friends and I are getting to that age where we are taking the next step, so to say. Gone are the days where we come over to each other's house on a snow day and eat junk food and play video games. I guess I never saw that coming. (Well, obviously the snow day stuff)

- It's in days like this that I step back and try to trace where God has been the past few years, and I always get emotional thinking about it. Because in the moment, it's very difficult to discern where God is at and how God is working. But one thing is for sure, I'm pretty excited about where God will meet me in the future.

The good stuff

2010-10-02T17:37:00.003-05:00

My guess is that if you're a frequent reader of this blog, you want the good stuff. The personal details. I mean, the random rants are fine and all... but you want to know what's going on....

Here you go.... Happenings as of late.

- It's pretty hard to admit all the places I mess up and the areas I need to help in

- Better yet, it's almost impossible.

- Honestly, I don't think people want you to be honest with them. They only want you to be honest as long as they can handle it. They don't want to bite off more than they can chew.

- Seeing all the dysfunction in several relationships close and far from me, terrifies me. Sin is never more apparent to me than through relationship.

- I love working extremely hard to earn a good grade in a class that soon I will forget 80 percent of what's being taught.

- I really miss Grandpa and Grandma

- I've been in a pretty negative mood the past few weeks. If you couldn't tell...

- On a good note, I'll be heading back to St. Louis this thursday for Tommy's wedding!

Believing the answers

2010-09-20T17:05:00.002-05:00

We all have questions. Big and little ones alike. Why did I lose ______ in that car accident? Why can't I seem to get things right? What is causing me to react that way when I get angry?

If you don't have any questions... It probably means that you've checked out a long time ago.

One of the more popular questions that I've ever had to deal with is, why is there so much suffering in the world and inside of me?

My point of this post is not to answer the question for you, but ask you a question in return.

Because some of you know the answer to that (or your) question. You refuse to believe it. You would never verbalize it of course. But for some reason, you enjoy living in the tension and the suspense.

There a few reasons, I believe, for our refusal to follow what we know is true. 1) Too Abstract. It all becomes a giant mind game and we check out. 2) Deep down, we love the feeling of struggle. It gives us worth. And so on.

Here is my challenge to you. Search and be diligent. Find your answer. Probe. Whether it be the Scriptures, your Dad or your college textbook. Find the answer.

It's not that it can't change your life, you will not let it.

Progress...Regress...Confusion

2010-09-12T02:09:00.002-05:00

I have not made it secretive that what seems to always be on my mind is my shortcomings. My inability to carry out the right I know. My many nights of great triumph and fleeting feelings of happiness. My many nights of distress and second-guessing.

I think it's safe to say that you're not that far off from me. How are your relationships going? How is your relationship with your parents? Close friends? How are you doing with that ego of yours? What about that one thing that keeps getting to you, that if people found out...

For those of you whom placed their entire hope on Jesus, did you know the Bible says that your life should be changed?

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
(Romans 6:12-14 ESV)

It even goes on to say...

"No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him." 1 John 3:6

Doesn't that scare you? For me, I can't get these words out of my head. Because the very nature of going from darkness to light IS life change.

You being changed is NOT a result of your hard work, or you're striving. It is a direct of result of God bring you back from the dead. (Ephesians 2)

To continue with the dead to life analogy. A dead man that has been revived to life experiences drastic change. In a sense that he was once lifeless and now sees, hears, smells and taste. So it is with you. When God calls your name and says, "Wake up!" You experience drastic change like the dead man rising from the grave. Maybe this is what Jesus was talking about when he said, "By their fruits you shall know them."

I am not saying that a good personality, or doing charitable things is what brings you close to God. I am saying that your not drawn near God without having your life completely altered.

In other words... no one encounters a lion in their room and then goes to bed like it's nothing.

To finish on a topic that's immeasurably large...

I offer hope to you, Christian, who is struggling right now. To you who is wondering when you'll finally "get it." Know that... "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Phil. 1:6

God, who breathed life into your lifeless existence, is not finished with you yet. Let go. Now that you're loved right now, not when you try your hardest to clean up your mess.

God doesn't love some future better version of you... He loves you. Right now. With your shortcomings and all...

Back into the swing of things...

2010-09-02T15:36:00.003-05:00

I have officially begun my junior year at Baylor. While I'm still trying to get a feel for what this year has in store... I have a few predictions and observations.

Last year I dedicated myself to the pursuit of God. I wanted to learn, experience and encounter God at all costs. From reading volumes of theology books to attending a wide variety of churches, I think I got a small taste. And when I think about something to set my heart on for this year, I run into problems. Because you can never really experience God to a point where you can check it off the list. Which leads me to...

RUF. Reformed University Fellowship. I will be spending most of my time outside of study with this group of people. Let the mind explosions begin. I can't say how much I have already learned and it's only been two weeks.

On a different note... I'm eagerly waiting the arrival of my basketball goggles. I'm tired of having my glasses break when playing so I got these nice over-the-lens protective goggles. It might be hard to distinguish me and Amare Stoudemire.

My grades are starting out like a Matt Holliday season... C+ But also like Holliday, by mid-term, I'll be hitting .300 + 25HR...

This Summer. Neatly packaged and ready to go.

2010-08-13T16:41:00.002-05:00

Hey all. Thanks for reading. I know of some of you and I am very grateful. This year has a lot in store for the both of us. I promise to turn this blog to a pretty sweet press of my life. It's a work in process but hang in there.

Moving on. As a blogger, you must sign a contract saying you must debrief certain seasons of your life, summer being essential. So here is a few things that I have learned and few things I'm looking forward to...

We'll start off with some big news:

Expect a new blog soon. By Chris Prestemon and I. It will be pretty witty but loaded with insight.

This summer has been a let down, if I'm being honest. Don't get me wrong. The people I spent this summer with were awesome and everything I hoped for. Maybe I just had too big of expectations for the summer. It was my first summer coming back from Texas, after all.

I've learned a lot about myself. I'm learning to be really intentional about my community. I'm not in high school anymore and I don't need to have stupid popularity votes. I'm okay with having fewer relationships if it means depth.

I'm looking forward to school, obviously. Mainly, living with a really good guy, Ryan. I hope to honor him and support him this year. He's a great guy.

I'm going to miss my family more than I can imagine. It would be an understatement to say God has taught me about life through them. About grace, love and living with people. My parents are human, and that includes mess ups and blind spots. But wow, do they love me and I can't ask for much more than that.

Anyways... Thanks for reading... This year will be packed with a lot of fun and growth. And I hope you're reading as I go along the journey.

Life with God

2010-07-27T18:22:00.007-05:00

I have read four books this summer that dealt with the topic of how life looks like with God in the picture.

What does being emotionally healthy mean? What are spiritual disciplines? Are they applicable for everyone? These questions and more were raised in the following books...

Death by Suburb by David Goetz

I found this book incredibly insightful. I think this book does a great job of revealing the impact on how certain suburban ideas affect us more than we think. For instance... "I feel perfectly righteous in storming off in the middle of a soccer game when my daughter doesn't get to play. There's so much more at stake than soccer." The author talks about how simple games and children become our immorality symbols to show off to our neighbor. He always hits the nail on the head when he talks about our consumeristic drive for the "cooler church, the more biblical pastor..." Goetz presents a fair critique of the suburbs without completely abandoning the idea or trying to "escape" it.

He points out that growth happens in relationships that don't allow you to bail. Even when your feelings are hurt, you stay.

Contrarians Guide to Knowing God (Spirituality For the Rest of Us) by Larry Osborne

Did anyone ever tell you that you need to read more to know God better? (funny, since it could be said that's what I am doing). Osborne argues that your relationship with God is just that, a relationship. If reading doesn't work for you, then stop. If praying for hours doesn't work, then stop.

Other topics include: how accountability groups don't work, how results and success or failures are not good indicators for your life.

And one of the most helpful chapters... You don't have to be a super-christian. God's goal for you is not for you to become the guy with all christian t-shirts, moving to India, and listening to christian music all the time.

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

You wouldn't be waisting your time reading this, but sometimes it's too idealistic and not very practical. But even in it's more idealistic chapters, it makes you aware of things like 1) how family history affects you today, 2) how long months of suffering and confusion indeed have purpose...

Desiring God by John Piper

Raises the questions:

What would our lives look like if God was valued above everything else? Includes topics such as worship, money, marriage, scripture, suffering, community.

One of the better books I've read in awhile.

There you have it. Interested in spirituality? What are the implications of living life with God? This is a good start.

Timing

2010-07-26T15:15:00.002-05:00

If you didn't know, I am summer intern at Windsor Crossing Community Church

And one thing that my boss says that sticks out this summer is, "Just past whatever you think your threshold is, what you can take, how much you can handle...that's where some of God's richest teaching moments come from"

I thought it was good when I first heard it, but didn't know if it were true practically.

I'm in the last two weeks of this internship and I can say I fully agree with what Rob said.

It almost seems like God waited till the end to reveal what exactly He's been up to. And I mean, I'm starting to realize the design in things that happened 5 years ago. Crazy to think that in the midst of fatigue and frustration, God shows up.

I hope that in similar times in your life, when your getting to the end of your rope and don't know how much you have left to give... keep waiting.

It will be said on that day,
“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the LORD; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”
(Isaiah 25:9 ESV)

The thing underneath temptation

2010-07-19T17:58:00.002-05:00

To get right to the point:

Everyone has those vices and pitfalls that always get us. Some people call them temptation.

Temptation comes in many forms. Greed. temptation to make your self look better than you are. Everyone is familiar with sexual temptation. The temptation for more power, social acceptance or rank.

Sometimes temptation can be such a powerful force that I feel almost helpless against it. It's almost impossible for me to make any headway back to where I want to be.

I ran across this:

Temptation is a suggested short cut to the realization of the highest at which I aim—not towards what I understand as evil, but towards what I understand as good.

Chambers, O. (1993). My utmost for his highest : Selections for the year (NIV edition.). Westwood, NJ: Barbour and Co.

Chambers argues that temptation comes unique to the person being tempted. Odds are, you are tempted uniquely by what your personality is like. And if you take 5 seconds to think about it... you're always tempted not with what you think is evil but what you think is good. Just a distorted version of that good.

Temptation could be a reality check. It could beg the question, "What are you affirming as good?"

The good news is that in your moments of trial and temptation, their is a God that is extending a helping hand.

"For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."

The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Heb 2:18). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

Book Review

2010-07-09T22:22:00.006-05:00

I just finished reading "Rework." (In a less than a day, for those who don't have much time) A book about business and economics. It's an attempt to get outside of my bubble.

I actually highly recommend this book. Most of my readers I suspect are not highly interested in "business." But this book contains so much more. You might have to be able to catch the ideas that translate and the ideas that apply to you.

A few highlights of the book would be:

- Not hard to read. Appealing to the eyes.
- A bunch of short blurbs on what these guys have learned starting a company. This book is not an exhaustive account.
- Practical advice on how to conduct meetings, not waist time
- Brilliant section on workaholics:

"Workaholics don't actually accomplish more than non-workaholics. They just claim to be perfectionists, but that just means they're wasting time fixating on inconsequential details instead of moving on to the next task. Workaholics aren't heros. They don't save the day, they just use it up. The real hero is already home because she figured out a faster way to get things done."

Buy it here: link

Interview with one of the authors here: link

Sports and my overly competitive nature

2010-07-06T21:49:00.005-05:00

To make no doubt about it, I love sports. Way more than I care to admit. For some reason, I love the branding, the sense of achievement and even the manly hits and grunts.

But I think the reason why I love sports the most is my competitive drive to win, to be first. It's an ugly side to me, but I'm being honest.

Actually, while I type this, the St. Louis Cardinals are facing the Colorado Rockies. Another baseball series in a long season, right? Not exactly. A good friend and future roommate of mine, Ryan, is a big Rockies fan. A win tonight would give me the proverbial edge, so to say. And a lose would make me subject to trash talk.

The point of this post is to say.... in the end, it's just a bunch of 20 year old guys throwing a ball around. If I were to storm off mad because someone misses a catch, wouldn't that say a lot about what is important to me?

I'm not saying we should not be passionate about sports. I am saying that sports need to be held in context.

David Goetz, author of Death by Suburb, says "Soccer is dumb when your wife is dying of cancer."

I would also hate for sports to ever get in the way of a healthy friendship. It's good to remind myself what's really important and what's worth fighting for. Maybe you should do the same.

Go Cards. and Go Rockies.

Loving others pratically

2010-07-04T22:46:00.003-05:00

I came across this in Peter Scazzero's book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Because a preacher that shouts "you need to love others well!" Doesn't really fix the problem. Here is a list of practical ways to love the other in right and healthy way. I think I'll be printing this list and hanging it on the fridge of my apartment. To daily remind me that my roommate and others were fashioned in the image of God and deserves respect, love, and to be engaged with.

Bill of Rights
Respect means I give myself and others the right to:

• Space and privacy (e.g., knocking on doors before entering, not opening another’s mail, respecting each other’s needs for quiet and space);
• Be different (e.g., allowing preferences for food, movies, volume of music, and how spend our time)
• Disagree (e.g., making room for each person to see think and see life differently)
• Be heard (e.g., listening to each other’s desires, opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc.)
• Be taken seriously (e.g., listening and being present to one another)
• Be given the benefit of the doubt (e.g., checking out assumptions rather than judging one another when misunderstandings arise)
• Be told the truth (e.g., counting on the truth when asking each other for information – from “Did you study for the test you failed?” To “Why were you late coming home?”
• Be consulted (e.g., checking and asking when decisions will affect each other)
• Be imperfect and make mistakes (e.g., leaving “room” for breaking things, forgetting things, letting each other down unintentionally, failing tests when we have studied, etc)
• Courteous and honorable treatment (e.g., using words that don’t hurt, asking before using, respecting the other as a “you” and not a “it”)
• Be respected (e.g., taking one another’s feelings into account)

Reading the Bible

2010-07-02T11:50:00.004-05:00

I thought for this post I would pass along a few helpful tips when reading the Bible...

So often do we get caught up in reading the Bible to acquire more knowledge, to gain an edge in an argument, or simply out of duty. For those of you that try to read scripture in the morning, can you honestly say you remember what you've read by lunch?

To keep this post short and simple:

If your not reading the Bible in hopes of knowing Jesus more, wanting to experience grace and mercy than it could be fruitless.

Theology that doesn't "connect" is a fruitless endeavor.

I think you should always ask two questions after diving into the text: When and how?

For example:

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
(1 Peter 1:13 ESV)

This passage seems good at 30,000 feet but it needs to get personal for it to have any impact. Once you figure out WHAT the passage is telling you...(put your confidence on grace). Then you must figure out WHEN and HOW you will do this...(Tonight when I'm tempted to boast in myself, my accomplishments instead of the unconditional favor of Jesus)

You should keep a journal close to you to track God's movement in your life.

What I'm Learning

2010-06-22T23:50:00.002-05:00

Lately...

- I wanted to start this note off light, so I had to keep making new "number 1's"
- I use books to hide from what's really going on
- I'm noticing the things Scripture teaches happen right in front of me...
- I always laugh at the one who double checks the locks on his doors... I'm becoming that guy
- I'm getting that excited feeling for school to start again
- Some books are not helpful at all, especially ones that offer you a new view of things but doesn't tell you HOW, just points it out
- We are ignorant to how our pompous, sarcastic and indifferent attitudes manifest itself in everything we do (me first and foremost)
- Birthday tomorrow (3 mins) and I get to teach!

The silence of God

2010-06-20T01:16:00.003-05:00

It's safe to say that these past weeks haven't been easy.

I could list you a laundry list of sins and emotions that would make you depressed. I don't know what is worst... continuing to dwell in such a dark place or refusing to get help.

But do you ever have those moments where if God doesn't come though you might go crazy?! Whether you want to know if there is some method to this madness or how long till I leave this baggage behind?

When you pray with tears coming to your eyes, and begging for God to come and make things right... and nothing happens. No hints. No urges.

What do you do then?

To be honest, I don't have a good answer for you. All I know that God is good and nothing comes to pass without the knowledge and will of God. Whether God allows suffering or causes it... it is the will of God.

I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things. - Isaiah 45:7

Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. Job 2:10

Could it be that God is withholding himself from us to bring to pass his good purposes?

David Goetz, author of Death by Suburb, says that he knows the perfect life doesn't exist in theory but he still wants everyone to look at him. He still wanted people to see how good of a father he was, a spiritual leader in the church and an entrepreneur that's on the cutting edge of new trends.

Bishop Fenelon says, "Much of God's work is done in secret because you would not die to yourself if He always visibly stretched out his hand to save you."

In other words, you would not become humble, die to yourself, if God always rescued you, if you always got the A on the test, if every day was better than the last...

A few good books that I recommend lately

2010-06-18T14:45:00.005-05:00

Sorry for the delay in posting, but here is a few books that I have recently read or I am reading now that I think would benefit you greatly:

Death by Suburb by David Goetz

I think this book does a great job of revealing the impact on how certain suburban ideas affect us more than we think. For instance... "I feel perfectly righteous in storming off in the middle of a soccer game when my daughter doesn't get to play. There's so much more at stake than soccer." The author talks about how simple games and children become our immorality symbols to show off to our neighbor. He always hits the nail on the head when he talks about our consumeristic drive for the "cooler church, the more biblical pastor..." Goetz presents a fair critique of the suburbs without completely abandoning the idea or trying to "escape" it.

Desiring God by John Piper

This book has been extremely important in my spiritual growth. This book is really heavy but well worth the long read. Talks about the age-old ideas of why we were created and how we find wholeness. I would be willing to bet that the answers in this book are different than what you expect.

The End Has Come... And I Was Right.

2010-05-25T14:43:00.004-05:00

*Warning* If you haven't seen LOST's season 6 finale.... Then do not read on. I will spoil it for you.

This post has one purpose... I told you so.

For the past year or so... The world told me "John Locke is a joke." People who were pretty pro-Jack Shephard.... Claiming that Locke was a washed-up joke that worked at boxing company and therefore didn't know what he was talking about....

John Locke claimed:

- The survivors of the plane crash were brought to the island for a purpose
- The Island was indeed special and worthy to be protected

Jack was his biggest adversary throughout the first 5 seasons...

But as Jack came to his realization and changed his ways... He decided and stated that John Locke was right and was a noble man. Which led to Jack giving his life up to protect the Island.

"I wish you would have believed me" - Locke to Jack

And now Jack does.

Myths

2010-05-23T01:01:00.002-05:00

I would like to echo something Matt Chandler said in one of his recent podcast...

It seems we think that when we have everything cleaned up, and when we look pretty is when God is most honored. When we have the biggest house and the newest car and we say to our friends, "Look how good God is..." And your friend could say a few things...

1) God did that for you? I'll take that God.

2) Insanity, You credit God for all that, and I worked my butt off to get everything I have.

------

Except we don't glorify God most in times of prosperity and abundance but in times of suffering and scarcity...

We can tell a watching world that God is our treasure when we have nothing. Because there are some preachers on TV lately who say "if we're children of the King, we should live like Kings!"

The prosperity, name it and claim your blessing teaching must be a relatively brand new idea because it never existed in the times of Jesus or the early church.

My favorite example from Scripture is the prophet Jeremiah.

God tells him that if he says what God tells him to say, does what hes supposed to do then Jeremiah would have the power to build and tear down kingdoms. (Jer 1:10) And every time Jeremiah opens his mouth he gets beat up and mocked. Twice he gets upset with God (one of those times being naked and in a pit) but the one I want to highlight is in chapter 15:

Jeremiah says, "Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me, a man of strife and contention to the whole land!(W) I have not lent, nor have I borrowed, yet all of them curse me."

And... Why is my pain unceasing,
my wound incurable,
refusing to be healed?
Will you be to me like a deceitful brook,
like waters that fail?

-----

He asks, "Will you fail me?" Read the end of the book, it ends with exile and no happily ever after.

Long blog post short: Please know that if you are suffering, you have the chance to show the world that God is your treasure. Not stuff. Not health or wealth or brand new cars.

anyone who comes to Him

2010-05-15T11:15:00.002-05:00

To the point:

Any true believer that comes to Jesus never finds him anything but an all-sufficient savior. Jesus never fails to rescue and redeem. Which is good news because money, girlfriend/boyfriend, hard work and jobs never deliver the purpose that they promise.

Colossians 2:-10; For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

John 4:13 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst

1 John 1:7 the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin

A Summer of Reformation Reading!

2010-05-11T15:44:00.004-05:00

Here is my reading list for this summer!

Calvin by Bruce Gordon

It is a biography of John Calvin. From what I have read so far, the author isn't leaning in one direction or the other. It highlights Calvin's strengths (intellectualism, boldness) and also his weaknesses (arrogance, perfectionist, harshness).

The Freedom of the Will by Jonathan Edwards

Highly praised by reformed thinkers such as John Piper and R.C. Sproul. Piper goes as far as to say that this book sealed the deal on Calvinism.

The Mission of God by Christopher Wright

Got this book as a gift last summer, excited to finally dive into it.

Advice from a guy who is half way done with college....

2010-05-09T00:49:00.005-05:00

On monday I will have completed my second year at college. Yeah! Although the title of this post is supposed to be sarcastic, I do have some things on my mind....

- Realize you are not the end all, next best thing... Ask questions. Sit at your professors/pastor/parents feet and pick their brain. If there is one thing I learned so far in college, is that I don't know anything! Just when I think I have my worldview figured out, a professor suggest a book that takes me on a ride.

- READ. Nothing substitutes engaging your brain with a good book. TV, facebook, sports DOESN'T compare to the wealth that is in books like Man's Search for Meaning and Calvin's Institutes

- Cynicism doesn't help anything. Whether your cynical about politics or the church... Cynics never change anything. They are that annoying voice in the background.

- Don't be afraid to have that frustrating conversation. Whether it's a theological conversation or a boundaries talk with a close friend. Many people today are refusing to just TALK about issues because it's just makes them angry. This is scary. It's okay if someone says you are wrong. Embrace it. Speak with conviction and don't be afraid to say you are certain of something even if it is not tolerant.

^ what I have been learning....

Guarding and repairing relationships

2010-05-06T16:09:00.002-05:00

I stole this ENTIRE post from Ray Ortlund's blog

---------

1. We can rejoice in one another, because the Lord rejoices in us.

Psalm 16:3 sets the tone: “As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.” There is excellence to admire in every Christian.

2. We can create an environment of trust rather than negative scrutiny.

1 Corinthians 4:5 says, “Do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.” Human eyes are not competent to judge human hearts.

3. We can judge ourselves, even as we give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Matthew 7:5 says, “First take the log out of your own eye.”

4. If a problem must be addressed, we can talk to, not about. Gossip destroys.

Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.” James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”

5. If a problem must be addressed, we can avoid blanket statements but identify factual speciﬁcs, offer a positive path forward and preserve everyone’s dignity.

“You are ___________” is too absolute to be fair. It leaves a person with no freedom to improve. Better to say, “In this situation, when you _____________, that set us back. It would be helpful if, in the future, you would ______________. What do you think? And is there anything I can do that might help?”

6. We can always extend kindness.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another.” The word “kind” is used in Matthew 11:30 when Jesus says, “My yoke is easy.” Kindness asks, “How can I make this situation as easy for the other person as possible? How can I avoid embarrassing this person? How can I make a positive response as easy as it can be?”

7. When we do wrong one another, we can say to the person harmed, “I was wrong. I am sorry. It won’t happen again. Is there anything I could do now that might make a positive difference?”

Where a wrong has been done, as the Bible defines wrong, an apology heals and helps.

“Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.” Genesis 33:4

Still broken and very young

2010-05-01T21:36:00.002-05:00

I often have those moments of a deer caught in the headlights. I often have moments of "wow, this part of me makes me sick."

I don't think I'm alone. As a Christian, I admit there is still so many areas of my life that remains untouched by grace and restoration.

I found this quote to be just what I needed to hear...

“Now I should like to know whether your soul, tired of its own righteousness, is learning to be revived by and to trust in the righteousness of Christ. . . . My dear brother, learn Christ and him crucified. Learn to pray to him and, despairing of yourself, say, ‘You, Lord Jesus, are my righteousness, but I am your sin. You have taken upon yourself what is mine and have given to me what is yours. You have taken upon yourself what you were not and have given to me what I was not.’ Beware of aspiring to such purity that you will not wish to be looked upon as a sinner, or to be one. For Christ dwells only in sinners. On this account he descended from heaven, where he dwelt among the righteous, to dwell among sinners. Meditate on this love of his and you will see his sweet consolation.”

Martin Luther

"Teaching them to lament"

2010-04-29T21:21:00.004-05:00

When reading through the book of Jeremiah, a prophetic work found in the Old Testament, I find some disturbing language.

There is no way I can fully tackle every point that these passages raise... but here is the text and a few questions:

"from prophet to priest,
everyone deals falsely.
11 They have healed the wound of my people lightly,
saying, ‘Peace, peace,’
when there is no peace." - Jer. 8:10-11

and

"teach to your daughters a lament,
and each to her neighbor a dirge.
21 For death has come up into our windows;
it has entered our palaces, cutting off the children from the streets
and the young men from the squares." Jer 9:20-21

Questions:

Do we have the temptation to say "everything is alright/everything will be ok" in the midst of suffering?

Is it really loving to say to people, "peace, peace" when there is no peace?

I believe it is not loving to sweep the ugliness under the rug and act like nothing has went wrong. Why don't we hear more sermons about the depravity in all of us?

Are we all just faking it? I can't tell you how many times people have asked me, "How is everything?" and I reply... "good." When on the inside, EVERYTHING is screaming death, dysfunction and corruption.

Where is the lament in our culture? Why can't we accept that we are not progressing... we are fooling ourselves if we think "we're better than those pagans back then..."

The word sin seems so backwards to most people today... but how else do you describe this inner rebellion about everything good and our good God that has been so merciful to everyone?

Speak boldly

2010-04-18T17:31:00.004-05:00

It seems normative today to be encouraged not speak what you truly believe. And if you have deep convictions, to not be so bold about them.

Don't people look down or ridicule those who seem so confident in __________?!

You receive messages all day long:

Don't offend. Don't claim to know the way. Don't be "that guy."

Enough with this garbage. Tolerance is so misunderstood.

Where is the man or woman who says, "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple" Psalm 27:4

Where is the person who says, "As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

Where is that person? Why is there such a disconnect with the language found in the Bible and our everyday lives?

Why do I continually settle for things such as food or drink or sports when the very person of God is offering himself to me?

Listen to this:

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. - C.S Lewis

Speak with conviction. Press in deeper.

Change is in the air

2010-04-08T23:44:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posting... Here is what has been going in my world, on which I hope to expound upon come summer.

- Sports. A morally neutral thing that could suck the life out of me. In the process of cutting away the obsession I have with people hitting a ball...

- I wish I could write about this in full detail, but in fear of polarizing people, I will not. But lately, I've been reading Scripture through the lens of the depravity of man and the sovereignty of God. Shocking what I am finding. Could I be another Armenian switching teams? *Sorry to a lot of you that have no idea what is going*

- I will indeed be coming home this summer. For a week I thought I would be living in Michigan being a door to door salesman working 80 hours a week... Wow, almost fell into that trap.

- To a select few, I am sorry for not being more involved in your life this semester. I can't wait for the summer. Hopefully you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And that you know who you are.

- It is really frustrating pretending to be good and strong. I am not. I think in a world surrounded by self-help books and voices saying that you can become a better you, the message of Jesus gets lost. If there is two things that cannot coexist, its pride and Christianity. Come all you who are weary! NOT come once you have cleaned all the crap off. Stop pretending and playing this game that you are inherently good because you are comparing yourself to the "drug addicts" around you. Sorry for the rant....

Poem

2010-03-23T00:37:00.002-05:00

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
Does in fact please you.

And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always,
Though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
And you will never leave me to face my struggles alone.

- Thomas Merton, 1915-1968

Quote

2010-03-17T18:33:00.001-05:00

“For though we very truly hear that the kingdom of God will be filled with splendor, joy, happiness and glory, yet when these things are spoken of, they remain utterly remote from our perception, and as it were, wrapped in obscurities, until that day.” - John Calvin

Love or hate Calvin, this is gold.

...

2010-03-15T20:46:00.003-05:00

Let's see if I can walk this fine line...

I don't want to turn this blog into a soapbox about my life's problems. But I do want to be open and honest with you, the reader.

Let me just say... I indeed know my past. I know the journey I'm on. And a lot of days (years) don't look good at all. I know that I have put people through some ridiculous things.

Please don't misunderstand me... I am not claiming perfection. I am not even claiming that I am good person now!

All I know, is that Jesus came for messed up people like me and you.

And even after my encounter with Jesus, I am still severely messed up. This will be true till the day I die.

I'm a scared and broken young kid. But I know one day, the Healer will make me whole.

Until then...

Quote

2010-03-13T01:20:00.002-06:00

"The compassion of Jesus is to be understood not simply as a personal emotional reaction but as a public criticism in which he dares to act upon his concern against the entire numbness of his social context." - Walter Brueggemann

Who you are...

2010-03-04T00:08:00.002-06:00

I know that a lot of what troubles young minds like myself today is self-image. What do people think about me? Am I an enjoyable person to be around? Does it even matter the kind person I am?

Here are a few things that we should think about:

- I think someone can take this to an unhealthy extreme. For example, living your life wondering at every conversation and social interaction if the people enjoyed being around you. Wrongly thinking that everyone is thinking about you in reality they are thinking about themselves.

- I believe that the person you are powerfully effects the message you have. A few broad examples, qualifications to be a leader in the early church were to be above reproach, respected and trustworthy. So yes, it is a meaningful task to work towards being a person of forgiveness, patience, and trusting.

- Further more on point two, nothing will turn your listeners off faster than knowing the fruit (or lack therefore) of your life.

And if you find yourself in the Christian tradition, your life should be marked by a constant putting others before you. It's a big red flag when I grow tired of being a selfless server to others. When I am constantly looking for ways to put me on top or constantly trying to prove how I am right or justified...

Just thoughts...

One stop...

2010-02-23T22:41:00.003-06:00

When thinking what to write about, I figured to hit on multiple areas of interest starting with....

Ndamukong Suh. Nebraska DT elite prospect for the NFL. I want the Rams to select him with the first pick. But what to do with the QB problem? We can't live with Bulger for another year! You can't pass up a once in a decade player like this...

Sociology has taken me on quite the ride lately... Discussing issues like race and gender. I loved this quote...

"I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring
dominance on my group" said Peggy McIntosh from her article White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.

Peggy argues that we are born with an unearned favor that we are taught to be oblivious to.

For example, as a person of white skin....

"I can be pretty sure that my children's teachers and employers will tolerate them if they fit school and
workplace norms; my chief worries about them do not concern others' attitudes toward their race."

"I can talk with my mouth full and not have people put this down to my color."

"If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether
it had racial overtones."

Interesting.... More thoughts to come.

Mundane Life and Football...

2010-02-14T17:34:00.003-06:00

One of the main reasons why I watch football is the "highlight reel effect."

Something about watching all of the big plays with a catchy song nicely chosen for background music makes football seem... epic. Watching a football highlight reel tells the story of the underdog fighting and giving everything for that last second play. Surely the game seems mundane and slow-pace when watching in real time...

Do you ever get excited for the next big thing in your life? Once you get a degree? Once you get that one job? Wife?

In the meanwhile, life seems mundane and uneventful... forever waiting for that next big thing to arrive.

I was talking to a friend after class and the subject of the incarnation came up. (The act of God becoming man in Jesus)

The fact that Jesus lived on this earth as a carpenter speaks volumes to this topic.

This Jesus, who is God, lived his life as a carpenter. Nothing sounds more mundane than living the life of a carpenter. Surely the carpenter is not the one who is the catalyst for change in his/her community. The carpenter is probably not the one who is on the inside of the biggest happenings.

Jesus redeemed mundane, uneventful everyday life. Maybe meaning and purpose is right here among us. Maybe what we are looking for is not on the other side, but right here.

Imagine that, looking forward to our 9-5 job or our next class because God might be up to something in the midst of the uneventful.

Random Thoughts as of Late...

2010-02-07T14:46:00.004-06:00

I apologize for the lack of posting but here is what is on my mind lately....

- LOST is back. I have more questions than answers.
- I am interning under Josh Carney at UBC
- Josh and I are reading A Prophetic Imagination by Walter Brueggemann and I really like the book
- I find myself always wanting something... Never seem to be content in the moment
- I think I'm going to live without a TV next year.
- A friend of mine has changed my Facebook password so I can't access it
- I love alone time to think and reflect but too much of it will drive me insane
- Sociology, for the record, was a good choice as a second major.
- for you theology people, read Paul and Caesar: A New Reading on Romans by NT Wright

And for a really good quote....

"In a religion of immanence and accessibility, in which God is so present to us that his abrasiveness, his absence, his banishment are not noticed, the problem is reduced to psychology." - Walter Brueggemann

I think this quote is saying that we have made God our buddy. That he never disagrees with us. He never opposes our decisions or thoughts. When we get stuck in a rut, it must be because we are depressed. But God's freedom enables him to act and even act against his own party/people. I think we should be really careful with how we conduct our lives and how we make God our parties mascot, always accepting and never condemning. Just a thought

Semester Project

2010-01-25T21:49:00.004-06:00

I'm taking advantage of the 40 limit undergrad limit of books that I can rent at Baylor's library.

Topics include:

Christianity and War
Textual Criticism
Major Biblical Interpreters
Early Voices of the Faith

Should be exciting

Money

2010-01-21T12:38:00.004-06:00

Pretty creative title, huh? Thanks, that's why I get paid to do this.

I thought I would pass this website along....

Seed.com

AOL is apparently short on writers and is paying people like you and me to write them! My roommate has currently wrote 2 articles and will be getting around 75 dollars. Nice!

Check it out!

On a housekeeping note: I'm in the process of switching to a new blog domain. Mostly due to aesthetic reasons. But it won't be for a little while, so be on the lookout for the link I will be posting! Thank you for reading.

the path of least resistance

2010-01-18T19:54:00.003-06:00

We seem to always look for the short cut, the fastest route, or the road that avoids all the curves and unpaved roads.

At least that's what I do. Not only when I am driving but in all other areas of my life. Not that it is wrong to look for the path of least resistance...

but somewhere along the way, we started believing that God is the pathway of least resistance. Which is simply not true.

"formulas and recipes have to do with predictability and certainty. We plug in the numbers, figures, and ingredients in order to get a specific result, a desired outcome... a life of 100 percent success, wealth, health, and opportunity... and in the process we strip life of any risk, mystery and adventure. It doesn't seem as though Jesus ever gave his disciples a blueprint on what they could expect in the journey that awaited them." - Kyle Lake

So God doesn't promise safety and security. Because it seems very few people in Scripture have the "American Dream" of a life. Whether it is Ruth, who's husband and two sons died, that said The Lord has brought calamity on her or any other of the disciples of Jesus who a lot of whom were murdered.

How should we respond when our life doesn't go as planned? Blame God? Buy more self-help books to finally fix ourselves? Crumble under the weight of failure?

I'm not sure if any answer I give here will suffice for you. Maybe you should wrestle and contemplate this thought.

Cynicism...Constructive Criticism?

2010-01-10T13:32:00.004-06:00

I think a lot of us confuse constructive criticism with cynicism. (So many C's!)

Do you ever notice how easy it is for us to constantly point out the faults or how if we were in charge, it would be all different? Or how everyone else has all these character flaws and if they would just fix themselves then all would be okay?

I think we have an inflated view of ourself.

For me, I'm just tired of being the judge. And despite what I may think, not everyone wants to know my opinion. So for some things, I'll choose to not have an opinion.

I am not saying to swallow everything uncritically. I think it would be great if we picked out battles wisely. I think it would be amazing if went spent our time building others up instead of tearing down.

Cynicism is not a good character trait. Cynicism produces bitterness, stinginess and an overall negative persona. Notice how your cynical friends are the friends that you hesitate on how much you open up to.

Instead of being the person who has to let the world know what you think, be the person who is marked by gratefulness. Be the person who is marked by humility. Because everyone likes and trust that person.

One Million Can

2010-01-09T23:30:00.002-06:00

Click on this link:

http://onemillioncan.com/

That is all.

New Semester

2010-01-08T15:17:00.002-06:00

I've been thinking lately....

Wouldn't it be great to make a change or difference in your community? Or even your self?

I think if we focus on who we are becoming then that will over flow into our community.

When thinking about the kind of person I want to be, I stumbled upon this...

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. - Romans 12:9-13

These words should change me.

I should love with authenticity and hold onto what is good and preserve it at all cost. I should consider people better than myself and outdo them in showing them honor. I should not complain when tested but be hopeful.

This is what I am challenging myself with these next few months. Are you challenging yourself?

Confession Time

2010-01-07T01:59:00.002-06:00

I love Taylor Swift.

And I not just love her... but when her music comes on, I sing it OUT LOUD. And that is an important detail to this post because I have one of the worst singing voices I have ever heard.... It's literally top 3.

But something about Taylor makes me want to sing for the whole world to hear and not feel embarrassed.

Feels good to get that off my chest...

Football

2009-12-29T19:37:00.002-06:00

Let me just say I love football... pro and college.

My favorite team to watch and follow is the St. Louis Rams. Yes, the Rams. Who might be the worst team in the NFL history...

You know it's bad when your fan base starts talking about the draft after 3 games of the season...

Here is the point of this post:

Don't you think football is a little over commercialized? With NFL Network and the huge stadiums with 100 dollar jerseys....

Is there a point where we realize that football is just.... football?

I guess I will never understand how we can pay athletes 100 million dollars.....

Idolatry Revisited

2009-12-23T15:59:00.003-06:00

Not speaking about the golden idol or the thing that you carved with your own hands that you worship.....

I'm speaking about the things a little closer to you. Like...

Friends/Acceptance.
Health.
Education/Titles.
Big House/Nice Car.
Happiness.
Repuatation.
Safety.

There is NOTHING WRONG with wanting friends or having a nice house. There is nothing inherently bad about wanting safety and health.

What goes wrong is when we start taking these things and saying to God, "Do whatever you want with me, be God but just don't touch this..."

And we close our hands.

And whenever you want to approach God, all he wants to talk about is what's in your right hand....

If you think I'm just being a typical Christian giving an age-old message, please just think about the ramifications of what this could mean.

Make friends and acceptance your number 1... And you turn into an emotionally unstable person who's happiness and mood is dependent on how we perceive others opinions of us are.

Make stuff like cars and houses your number 1.... And you are in this cycle of buying and consuming... buying bigger houses to fit all of your stuff that will probably be in the trash in 150 years. Constantly comparing yourself on what you have.

WHO wants to live like that?

December Thoughts

2009-12-17T14:15:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the lack of posting....

Here are some random thoughts....

- Praying for Matt Chandler, Village Church in Dallas. A huge influence on my life, especially this semester. find out more here.

- Habakkuk 3:17-19 is where I want to live my life. I don't care what life throws at me, God be praised.

- I am going home to St. Louis tonight! Great because I had to stay in Waco a little longer than most Baylor students.

- Going to the Rams game this sunday. Not abandoning my team yet.

- Sad to hear about the death of Chris Henry, of the Bengals, interesting and heart wrenching comments by Chad Ochcocinco, look it up.

- Trespassing was such a bad idea!

- Grateful for people who are willing to take time to pray for me.

- One more sports comment, MATT HOLLIDAY: STAY IN ST. LOUIS!

- If you haven't heard of Advent Conspiracy yet, please check it out; here or here

Very powerful story

2009-12-11T00:10:00.000-06:00

Speaks for itself.

Developing a theology of the cross

2009-12-04T12:32:00.002-06:00

In my last post, I said how as Christians, we don't boast in anything except in Jesus, and him crucified. At first glance, it seems very barbaric and backwards....

Eventually I would like to expound on how insane it is for us to make things like family, race, country or anything else primary in this life... But I think this all builds up to that idea.

If your a Christian, ask yourself, what is the one thing that you think is most important to your faith? What is that one thing that keeps drawing you in and pushing you further?

Is it the church? Is it worship? Is it hope? Character development?

What I would like to argue is that all those things are secondary or an effect of that dark night when Jesus was killed on a cross...

What happens when we take secondary things/issues and make them primary? What I am saying is this: The act of the cross, and God behind this act, is the ground and basis for everything you do.... Listen to Paul...

Galatians 6:12-16 (English Standard Version)

12It is those who want to make a good showing in the flesh who would force you to be circumcised, and only in order that they may not be persecuted for the cross of Christ. 13For even those who are circumcised do not themselves keep the law, but they desire to have you circumcised that they may boast in your flesh. 14But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. 15 For neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation. 16And as for all who walk by this rule, peace and mercy be upon them, and upon the Israel of God.

The only boast of the Christian faith....

2009-11-29T22:57:00.005-06:00

We don't boast in our morality.

We don't boast in our pastors/leaders.

We don't boast in our intellect/will power.

We don't boast in our blessings.

We don't boast in the number of people we bring to faith.

We don't boast in how many bible studies/times we go to church.

We don't boast in our politics.

We don't boast in what we do or don't do.

The only boast of the Christian faith....

is the bloody cross.

That God in his overflowing goodness became one of us and subjected himself to death, on a Roman cross. Tasted death so all might have life. Even when we were in our worst condition, he still died. Nothing that we have done that merits this. While we were dead in the waters, God rescued. Walls that we couldn't move were tore down.

Do you realize the ramifications of this good news?!

The effects of the cross...

You can get off the religious treadmill.
You can stop trying to have it all together.
You can be called into something that will change the world
You can find your identity
You can have hope
You can stop living for yourself and your means
You can now live.

Psychology and your identity

2009-11-16T21:08:00.002-06:00

Psychologist Hazel Markus popularized the terminology on "self." Your thoughts, feelings, motives and self-image is the basic makeup for who you are.

And the interesting part is a thing called "possible self."

This is where you envision who you want to be. An educated self. The loved self. The accepted self. The pretty self. It even plays to your fears: the unemployed self. The academic failing self. The lonely self.

The point?

When you buy so heavily into one of these "possible selves" you begin to think people start judging you base of your possible self. You think the spotlight is on you. And everyone must be critiquing you based off your need/want.

In fact, when you feel your having a off day with your clothes or hair, did you know only 23 percent of the class might notice you when you walk in?

Fewer people notice than we assume.

Advent Conspiracy

2009-11-13T16:16:00.000-06:00

A New Kind of Christianity... Concerning Fort Hood

2009-11-07T11:13:00.002-06:00

One of my favorite authors is coming out with his latest book....

It talks about 10 questions that are shaping the faith...

One of the questions deals with religious identity, pluralism, tolerance, and interfaith dialogue.

"I hope [everyone] will respond to the Fort Hood shootings (and every act of religious bigotry, racial intolerance, sexual stereotyping and prejudice, unequal treatment of gay folks, etc.) by rededicating themselves to follow the example of Jesus: move toward "the other" with love and respect. Don't fear, avoid, dehumanize, stigmatize, or allow bigoted statements to go unchallenged, but instead, have a cup of tea, take a walk, exchange dinner invitations, hear their stories, and treat "the other" as you would be treated. Learn to see "the other" as your neighbor, and respond as Christ taught." - Brian McLaren

Ozzy Osbourne on Total Depravity

2009-11-05T18:13:00.003-06:00

You always seem to know the answer to it all
You seem to cheat the truth and never take the fall
Your life is hollow and you simplify the rules
The time will come when you will join the other fools

Black Illusion
Is all I ever see

I load the dice and fake a smile upon my face
With fingers crossed I switch the perfume with the mace
What kind of dreams do I enjoy inside my bed
You'll face the lies and shake the evil from my head

from: Black Illusion off Down to Earth
---------------------------------------------

All Truth is God's Truth.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all. Isaiah 53:6

Not that I am taking a shot at Ozzy, but his lyrics just ring true for my life

Mr. John Calvin...

2009-11-03T00:53:00.002-06:00

Let's be honest, to those who are familiar with John Calvin have problems accepting some of his ideas....

Like God predestines who will experience heaven and elects those he chooses to eternal damnation. Or that there isn't a shred of good inside of us. Or that Jesus only died for the elect.

Intense, right?

Ever since I started following Jesus, I heavily resisted Mr. Calvin. But I love reading people like him, so I picked up his classic work.

Let's just say I think he is a genius. No one is denying that.

But what speaks to me the most, is the idea that humanity is not good. And not just "not good" but totally depraved.

Which is an idea that I can't fully go into detail right here, but let me just say this...

I have realized that even when my actions appear good, majority of the time, my motives are nothing short of selfish. I am actually tired of denying the truth about myself. It's actually liberating... Listen to this quote.

"For as there exists in man something like a world of misery, and ever since we were stripped of the divine attire our naked shame discloses an immense series of disgraceful properties, every man, being stung by the consciousness of his own unhappiness." John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion

-------------

Please know that you are a fragile human being. Please get off the religious treadmill, realize that there is this God who loves you even in your darkest night and even though your worst stretch. A love that resurrects your life from the death bed. Be liberated. Just be.

I am just a Rock N Roll Rebel!

2009-10-31T14:39:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I bought the Essential Ozzy Osbourne Collection on Itunes......

*waits for reaction*

If you knew me in high school, I can only guess your reaction. You're probably kinda angry. This is the same Prince of Darkness that I use to be obsessed with. This is the same Ozzy which was written on my hands all throughout High School...

Yes, I use to talk Ozzy 24/7 to the point where people knew me as the "Ozzy guy." But the reason I bought the music was not because Ozzy is really good, ha. That's funny. I bought this collection for what it means to me.

If my mom read my blog, she would probably be freaking out.

To my Mother (whom I love) and all you concerned folk, I am not worshipping the devil or selling my soul, I think this is just a sign of me maturing and growing in discernment.

And, whoever said their was line that separated sacred and secular?

The Fun Theory - Piano Stairs

2009-10-28T14:56:00.002-05:00

LOST Season 6...

2009-10-25T21:51:00.003-05:00

Turn away if you haven't seen the finale of Season 5 yet...

Questions that need to be resolved.

1) What is the nature of Jacob? Good or bad? a god/God? What's the point of this big "game"? Or is it even a game?

2) Character developments that I must see come to a ending point:

Jack : the struggle with Kate/I think he might go insane if he doesn't capture her heart. I think his need to fix everything will drive him into the ground.

Hurley: Finding sanity in a world that calls him crazy. Dealing with depression and paranoia and feeling useless when Jacob calls him a "blessing" not a "curse"

Walt: Will his "specialness" come clear in the final season? new Jacob?

3) How in the world can this show say at the end of season 6, "there is nothing left." Very interested to see how this happens.

Weird Times

2009-10-21T14:33:00.004-05:00

When words of loved ones didn't seem to suffice, I stumble upon words like these...

For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

As for me, I said in my prosperity,
“I shall never be moved.”
By your favor, O Lord,
you made my mountain stand strong;
you hid your face;
I was dismayed.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
you have loosed my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness

Psalm 30.

-----

Somehow, these words breath life into me.

Not trying to over spiritualize this.... but this post is for a few of those on my mind that really need to hear something good.

Thoughts

2009-10-19T02:21:00.002-05:00

A lot on my mind lately.....

- went to Reeves Louisiana this weekend to hang out with some really cool people, mostly over 65 years old.
- I can't wait till I am done with gen ed classes.
- after talking to some professors, and wrestling big time with belief, I think I have arrived at some convictions
- what's most relevant for people today is Jesus. The best thing you can do for someone is to tell them something that they need to hear even when they don't think that's the case
- I need to start speaking with conviction, think what I really think, believe what I really believe
- I really like listening to Taylor Swift. Said it.
- i think I will always be afraid of "father figures"
- even though my inner most being would love to be a universalist, I think since Jesus wants to have an exclusive relationship with each one of us, it just doesn't seem like good news if there is more than one way. Thank you Chris.
- Yankee's World Series Champs

A word for the sick

2009-10-13T01:02:00.004-05:00

As of late, like most college students, I am feeling the weight and pressure of succeeding in school. So the past week, I have spent every moment at the library. Right now, it's starting to feel unbearable. Everything that I am trying to keep inside, all the mistakes and regrets, are starting to break from the seems. Do you ever have those moments of just one big realization of the mess your in?

Now to the Christian, he or she knows that she is sick. Mentally and spiritually drained. Realizing the weight of perfection is too big of a task for anyone. So the Christian clings to this Jesus, who is the healer or the doctor. But I feel like we misunderstand our sick nature, as when we become a Christian than we are instantly healed and ready to live that "full" live. I don't think that is the case.

Reading Martin Luther today for a class assignment and stumbled upon this...

"He is actually sick, but he is healthy by virtue of the sure prediction of the physician whom he believes. For he (Jesus) reckons him already healthy because he is certain that he can cure him, indeed, because he has begun to cure him..."

Luther goes on to say that this life is a process of becoming healthy. A very long and slow process.

So may you take comfort in the fact that you don't have to have it all together. Take comfort in the fact that God is putting everything back together again and that includes you.

Peace.

you might need to hear this...

2009-10-09T22:07:00.003-05:00

Now, most of you know, I am not the one who is super positive with a big smile on my face telling you that you "rock." But I am feeling a little weird so here it goes.....

* You might be a little crazy. It's ok, I am little crazy as well. You might be a little crazy with your beliefs. Looked upon as an outcast. Whether it be your political views or your thoughts about God, you seem out of place.

Maybe your thoughts about how we should worship, do business, love each other, play music or not the norm and you need someone to say you are not that weird.

If this is you, don't be quick to abandon your fire. Don't be quick to change your mind and go with the flow. Maybe we need to hear your voice at this moment.

Read this by GK Chesterton (paraphrased, i think)

"...artists and poets rarely go crazy, but with scientists it’s pretty much par for the course, and one good look around the halls of fame of the scientific community seems to confirm this. Newton once stuck a giant needle under his eyelid to see what was back there "

A deep need for silence

2009-09-28T18:03:00.003-05:00

I have been trying this book lately... A Celebration of Discipline by Foster. I am really enjoying the parts that I am reading.

The best part is reading something that is so in tune with your life at this present moment.

I am trying hard to break my trains of thought that say I must stay busy, that I must continue to impress... maybe what I need most is reflection and silence. How much noise and volume do I voluntarily subject myself to?

Here is what I am learning about myself lately:

- It's ok to say no to people.
- I can be very judgmental and think that the problem is anyone by myself...
- I am afraid of people realizing that I talk a big game but don't back it up
- That everything God does is good, from season to season, He doesn't just pave the way for me to come to Baylor than say, "good luck"
- Being away from St. Louis, makes you realize how cool St. Louis actually is
- I don't think the "clique" concept ever fades, even when you are in your 50's

St. Andrews !

2009-09-21T01:16:00.003-05:00

I have applied to study abroad in St. Andrews, Scotland for Spring 2010. This course specializes in philosophy and religion study. They only take 20 students so we shall wait and see what happens.

A few things you should know about me as you pass through...

2009-09-16T21:35:00.002-05:00

Yes... that might be the longest blog post title in the history of blogosphere.

Anways, as you drop in, checking if anything is new, know this real quick before you venture off into cyberspace... (aka, I want to know what is happening in Matt's life but I don't really want to/have the time to call him...

1) Baylor is great place. I am double majoring. Right now it is psychology/religion. It might change to Hebrew/Religion. I am meeting some extremely smart and cool people here. I actually like my roommates and I think I might getting a tattoo.

2) For the theological buffs, I am quite surprised and happy that the professors here hold many different beliefs than what I grew up with. People would call them "liberal theologians" (not at all of them) but it's a new experience listening to the thoughts of people who worship the same God but approach topics in a very different manner. I hope this education stretches to reasonably arrive at my believes and philosophies and that I may never make my camp in one particular idea or mindset.

3) Fantasy football, NFL and college football might be the single reason on why I will not pass my sophomore year. By the end of monday night, the though occurred that I should never watch 7 football games in one weekend ever again.

Well, this is awkward...

2009-09-04T20:31:00.003-05:00

I have decided to blog again. Call me all the names you want.... Moving on.

WOW! College is amazing, the campus is awesome, yadda yadda blah blah. I am glad we got that out the way. Moving on.

In all seriousness. The people I am becoming friends with are special. Let me tell you about two of them. (and there are a group of people I could brag about here at Baylor, like my roommate, or the Alex's, etc.)

*Disclaimer* To my trusted friends in St.Louis, this doesn't mean you are replaced. That's nonsense.

His name is David. He naturally stood out to me. He was wearing a yamaka and had tassels hanging off his clothes. We started talking and have Hebrew class together. He is one of the smartest, devout men I have ever met. I got to share a meal with him and it was really cool. He is also giving me a brand new angle to look a bunch of really important stuff.

Their names are Hinah and Zaynab. Some of the nicest people I have met in a long time. Just starting to get to know them, but their Muslim faith at Baylor attracts to me to the kind of people they are.

And just to clarify, by no means, am I making these people "my mission projects" to convert them to my faith. Sorry to be blunt, but I am enjoying genuine relationship. Oh and by the way, David might not claim Christianity, but he is following Jesus like only a few people I have ever known to before.

I'll end it with a quote...

"The world does not consist of 100 per cent Christians and 100 per cent non-Christians. There are people (a great many of them) who are slowly ceasing to be Christians but who still call themselves by that name; some of them are clergymen. There are other people who are slowly becoming Christians though they do not yet call themselves so. There are people who do not accept the full Christian doctrine about Christ but who are so strongly attracted by Him that they are His in a much deeper sense than they themselves understand. There are people in other religions who are being led by God’s secret influence to concentrate on those parts of their religion which are in agreement with Christianity, and who thus belong to Christ without knowing it…" - CS Lewis

Giving up blogging

2009-08-27T23:52:00.001-05:00

I have an education to focus on.

Grace and Peace.

This is home

2009-08-19T23:35:00.004-05:00

That picture you just looked it, is my hotel. And no, it is not home. Just a passerby to the real deal. An apartment at Baylor.

It's kind of surreal because I am sitting in the hallway of this hotel at midnight, trying to not wake the parentals. It just

has

not

set

in.

That I am not going back home with my Mom and Dad. This is my new home. The future looks bright. I mean, blinding, I feel like I could be on top of this mountain while at the same time... I am really scared and wondering if this sink is about to sing before it leaves the dock.

Here goes nothing...

"This American Life"

2009-08-17T23:15:00.002-05:00

Do any of you listen to the podcast "This American Life?"

I just started and the first episode about two girls being switched at birth. And the crazy part is that one of the moms knew about it from the very start! This same mom didn't come clean until 40 years later. Crazy story, very powerful, download it for free.

Look for how the two different girls grew up in two completely different families and philosophies. Their entire life battling thoughts that they were different and didn't belong.

Look for how everything changes when they find out that their mom isn't really their mom.

Good stuff.

Things I have learned lately...

2009-08-14T14:30:00.002-05:00

Be very spiritual but don't be religious with your spirituality.

It seems like we feel the need to attach a bible verse to everything these days. Our emails, conversations, cars, facebook page, etc. It's almost like we need to keep up this identity that we are believers.

Why?

Why is it that everyone must say "Just have faith" to someone who is going through a really tough moment? Why is that we feel the need to throw God in our conversations for the sake of being known as spiritual?

I'll keep this short because I know how annoying reading a dissertation in a blog can be....

I just want to be authentic. I want to be like the ancient people who followed God and wouldn't say the name of G-D, out of fear and reverence. May I never throw the name of God around in conversation just for the sake of being religious.

Another video you should watch

2009-08-06T14:14:00.000-05:00

Bon Iver - Skinny Love (Live) from Moe Darbandi on Vimeo.

What I am Listening to

2009-08-06T14:07:00.001-05:00

Bon Iver - Lump Sum from Chris Dickey on Vimeo.

A punch to the face

2009-08-05T13:11:00.003-05:00

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately, a few things are on my mind...

Most of you know, but I am Christian. (I follow Jesus, Xn, or whatever you want to call it) and you probably know that by reading this blog. Odds are, you are too. Which is kinda depressing, but whatever. *it's me, not you*

We grow up with stories from the Bible are entire life.

We are so use to hearing these stories that they don't even phase us anymore.

While thinking about the creation poem in Genesis 1-3, new things began to jump out at me.

And lately, to be honest... I am starting to notice all the crap that is in my life.

My selfishness. The way I always look to my needs before others. The way I am self absorbed.

My pride. My way of doing everything in a way that makes me look "good."

My apathy. My lack of concern for relationships that are failing. My lack of concern for things that need my help.

And as the story goes in Genesis, the first humans went their own way and told their Creator they will be better off without him.

Thus, I find myself right now in the midst of this downturn. Everything seems to be spinning out of control. Poverty, war, my own personal piety, it is all going down the drain. Sometimes I forget how everything is fractured and bent out of place, including me.

I need to stop being so hard on myself and others. Because God is putting everything back together. Sometimes it feels like it is taking forever....

Taking a new turn

2009-07-31T18:30:00.002-05:00

My internship at Windsor Crossing Church is ending today. While I will unpack everything that I have learned at a different time, now I must focus on what is next. I need to prepare myself to say goodbye to friends and family from St. Louis and start moving to Waco, Texas.

I must say, I am pretty calm when it comes to nerves about all of this. I don't really know what to expect but I know that this will ultimently change my life.

I am looking forward to:

*Getting out of my comfort zone
*Being stretched academically
*Seeing the kind of person that I grow into, hopefully a person of goodness, love and mercy
*Maturing.
*Realizing the many gifts back home in St. Louis

Last time you will see me with hair for a little while...

2009-07-28T17:49:00.002-05:00

All for YouthCrossing

Did Jesus Lead a Balanced Life?

2009-07-28T00:09:00.002-05:00

Stumbled across a good article....

thought I would share it with you...

click here

New Trend

2009-07-23T13:41:00.002-05:00

I am reading this article on Catalyst website...

And point number five kinda bugs me.

"More churches will be planted without the role of a preaching pastor."

The article says how many new church plants will be borrowing the work of the "big name" pastors. It just seems really impersonal and fake.

For those of you who are interested, what do you think?

Tweet City

2009-07-20T22:46:00.000-05:00

http://twitter.com/mattwestermayer

Some things I will never get....

2009-07-19T21:36:00.003-05:00

A few things stuck out to me today on Sunday...

I don't get my mother. She comes up to me crying, telling me how she always thinks of me. How she always prays for me. How I am here life. It caught me off guard. Something she said to me will stick out for a very long time...

"I know we don't get to spend a lot of time together. I know we don't get to talk that much. I know you're gone a lot. But I always wake up and look out the window, thanking God that your car is in the driveway."

Since when do I deserve a love like that?

Phobia of needles

2009-07-18T16:04:00.002-05:00

I went to the doctor today to get a skin test for Baylor. This isn't the first time that I have even been to a rodeo, or seen one on TV. But I had this gut feeling that I wasn't going to like this shot.

I looked all around the room for something that I can temporarily amuse myself with so I can take my mind off the fact that I am at the doctors.

Ah ha! I found some candy... it will have to do.

Before the nurse stuck me with the needle I asked, "is this going to hurt?" to which she replied, "it's a needle."

Awesome.

Next thing you know... I passed out and starting having the shakes. All that I knew what was happening was that I was shaking violently. I woke up with the nurse yelling at me to lay down. To which I said, "I can't move."

What a day.

This coming week...

2009-07-17T00:25:00.003-05:00

Hello friends.

Most of you who check up on this, I know personally and have some level of relationship already. I just want to ask for your favor and prayer. I am giving a talk to Youth this Wednesday, July 22nd.

Everything is falling into place. I am starting to get this jumpy/excitement feeling deep within me.

I would hate for the conversation to be afterwards, how great Matt did (or didn't) but how a loving God met with students that desperately need it.

I'll keep you posted.

Medicine

2009-07-09T19:15:00.002-05:00

Hello blogosphere...

I've been going working through some issues lately with myself and thought, "hmmm... this would be a good blog post."

I am not ashamed to say that I am taking anxiety/depression medicine. I think there are a few misconceptions about medicine.

1) It's not necessarily a spiritual problem.

I want to avoid the "either this or that" kind of thinking. "I'm feeling depressed because I feel God is far from me" is a very common feeling. I use to think that it was my relationship with God that was suffering and thus making me depressed. But I think it's the other way around. I feel far away from God because I am depressed.

I am no doctor but we are very physical creatures, and when it comes to feelings of depression, sometimes our brains can have unhealthy balance of serotonin (these neurons that control your appetite and mood). And sometimes, not always, a solution to unhealthy depression can be medicine. BUT READ THIS.... Medicine will not fix your world and make your problems go away and is not recommended for everyone. If you are considering medicine, I strongly believe that you should seek professional counseling first.

2) Medicine is for weak people.

"Only the screwed up, weak, and needy people take meds..." I hear this a lot. You might even hear that you just need to trust God more, which these people have good motives, but I think misses the point.

Remember this, we are all a bunch of sick people. Everyone has junk in their life and anyone who says they don't is lying. I also believe that God is the ultimate healer. But it's a process not an event. God heals in degrees.

If you are experiencing emotional issues, know you are not alone. I would love to be that friend for you.

Matt the past month

2009-07-06T14:09:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it is just easier to write out a punch of one-line blurbs than an essay, so I will do that now...

- I know who my roommates are at Baylor.... but cannot find them on the interweb. If you are reading, Evan or Christen, I would be glad to talk to you. ;)
- Watching the movie Religious by Bill Maher makes me think that we just can't say anything we want on stage
- Steve Mcnair, old Titans Superbowl QB against the Rams, died this past week. What is going on with celebrity's ?
- I'm now taking some medicine for anxiety. Most people think it's a spiritual problem... I disagree.
- When thinking of Michael Jackson, what a life he lived, that when he died, every single person on this planet knew about it. And charging to attend his funeral.
- Stevie Tiemann's blog is funny and worth a view...

6 Things I Have Learned This Summer...So Far

2009-07-02T12:28:00.004-05:00

...As a summer intern for Windsor Crossing.

In no particular order of importance...

6) Time Management is crucial

5) You need to effectively lead yourself before leading others

4) Seeing students interact with God makes me want to do this for the rest of my life

3) Go out of your way to make people feel welcomed and loved (even those on the "bottom")

2) Never make me people think your too busy to approach

1) God is enough for me. The only constant, the only thing truly good and faithful.

Piglet Roast!

2009-06-25T11:26:00.003-05:00

Next Wed is YouthCrossing's pig roast! If you are a student, and love pig meat..... come to Windsor Crossing.

A clean heart

2009-06-19T17:58:00.002-05:00

Don't look too close for blemishes,
give me a clean bill of health.
God, make a fresh start in me,
shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash,
or fail to breathe holiness in me.
Bring me back from gray exile,
put a fresh wind in my sails!
Give me a job teaching rebels your ways
so the lost can find their way home.
Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God,
and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways.
Unbutton my lips, dear God;
I'll let loose with your praise.

-Psalm 51

.... The skeptics will think this is lazy blogging.

I hope this gives you a fresh perspective.

Ready

2009-06-17T17:33:00.003-05:00

Middle and High School Youth.... about to begin!

Speechless

2009-06-14T16:58:00.003-05:00

Regardless of where you come from on the political spectrum, this makes me sick.

When the "pastor" says, "Don't be mad at me, be mad at God, because those are God's words."

Really?! God tells us to pray for the death of other people?

The last time I checked, Jesus told us to never return evil with evil. I guess taking Jesus literally is "counter-cultural" move these days. Praying for those who mistreat us, and loving our enemies.

For those of you reading, who when you hear that pastor say, "God said it, not me," get immensely frustrated, please know, that is not true.

I am sorry.

Friday

2009-06-12T10:33:00.002-05:00

Me and Chris have the office all to ourselves.....

now....back to work.

Crafting this message

2009-06-12T00:49:00.002-05:00

To be very honest, I am loving this internship at the Crossing. The part that I am looking forward to the most is giving this talk to the youth next month. (One of many parts)

Trying to spend at least an hour everyday reading, praying, and preparing to talk to a bunch of students. I probably won't say anything that hasn't been said before, but my hope is that this message gives these students a push. I hope that for some, that God may speak a fresh word into their lives. I hope for some that it is encouraging and for others unsettling.

Overall, I pray that I get out of the way. I would hate to look back on that night I think that I was the main attraction.

This process for me is a complete joy and something that I would love to dig deeper into.

More to come from this story...

Restless Mind

2009-06-08T00:06:00.002-05:00

The past several weeks I have been wrestling with this idea of a peaceful mind. Some of you know what I am talking about. You are constantly doubting your motives, other people, even the things that you know to be true. And sometimes you wonder if you can ever get a break from all the insanity and fleeting thoughts... but it never seems to come.

Do I belong? Am I giving it my all? Can I do what I think I am called to do? These questions keep me up at night and I'm starting to wonder if they ever will go away.

But after talking to someone who asked me the question, "What do you need for you to be happy?" And instantly, things start coming to mind. Community, peace, material things are a few that would top my list.

I am leaving for school in two months and do not want to look back and think that I missed out. I don't want to miss out on good friendships, really good times, and just being glad about where I am at because of my paranoid mind.

I've been reading this passage from the Bible, out of Psalms (a collection of poems written to God), and in Psalm 72, it says this...

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire but you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

This has been my prayer lately and if you are experiencing the same thing, I pray that this comfort you as well.

Somehow and someway.... this God of love and mercy is enough. There should be nothing more I need.

Wow... This is harder than I thought.

Spending a week with a bunch of good people

2009-06-05T23:34:00.002-05:00

This past week, YouthCrossing went to Student Life Camp, and it was a really good experience. Regardless of what you think about "bible" camp, lives were changed this week and for the betterment of the world. I watched these students learn how to live together. I watched some of these guys and girls open their hearts and tell their stories. I feel God has continued this great work that he is doing through these group of people this past week.

Knowing some of the stories of the students and them seeing them learn how to worship something bigger than themselves, is amazing. Hearing the cries of this girl who wants to radically change the world and not sit on the sideline, is humbling.

Yeah I have a couple of things to process when it comes to church camp, but I honestly feel that spending a week living together and worshipping will make these students a strong agent of change in cities that really need it.